No. Specifically Sean. I really loved him. I realize that the problems we had came from me believing that i was not good enough (which is true). I started out hoping he would never find out who i was so that he would never leave me.
He has strict rules regarding what is and is not appropriate. About how to act and be.
He was very controlling. I saw it in everything. He treated the dog and i the same. A tight leash and nervous as hell.
But we shared everything. We had rituals. I miss him terribly. Subconsciously. There are so many things i would just rather do with him than without him.
For instance, i went to the store last night to buy toilet paper. Instead of buying the kind i like, which he always hated, i bought his kind.
I make these cosmic apologies to him everyday. We ran our relationship right into the ground.
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