Friday, March 19, 2010


I'm looking for a new apartment again. I don't think I can handle living in my current place anymore.
I'm cruising through craigslist looking for new places and realizing how little interest I have in weird roommate situations and room sharing and splitting utilities and all that nonsense.
I'm ready to GROW UP.
Be in a place of my own, or with my partner.
But no roommates. No bullshit.


I have sets of recurring nightmares, places that I keep coming back to even though the people change, or weird in between states that are like sleep but aren't sleep.
Sometimes my dreams take place around me while I'm laying in bed. Like I'm a detective but my bed is in the precinct and I conduct all of my business from it. Things like that.
My roommate is the single most social person I have ever met in my life. She can not go an hour sitting by herself being quiet. I'm the complete opposite of that. She calls me a "loner." I have gone out with her a few times but it is always a strange situation. She creates drama for herself and I don't have the stomach for that kind of thing. She likes to create drama around me as well. For instance, she is trying to make me into a "lesbian." I am dating a man and it seems like that offends her. I love my boyfriend more than I ever knew possible and we have an amazing partnership together.
Today he is out of town, and I had planned on meeting some friends at the local gay watering hole to grab drinks and hang out. She keeps trying to get me to pick up girls with her. She said tonight I could be a lesbian. I was like, look tonight just like all other night's I'm Mike's girlfriend. She keeps insisting that I come out and pick up chicks and it leaves me a foul taste in my mouth.
So, I declined to go with her.
She was upset, I guess. I don't really care, I should be able to make my own decisions. We're not very close friends. Whenever she gets drunk she always says "I don't even know you."
So I just lay in bed watching The L Word and hung out with the cats. Ironically a much more "les" thing to do!
To tie this all back to the dream (pardon my rambling - I hardly ever blog any more and I don't have a good structure that I'm used to), I'm laying in my bed right now listening through uninsulated walls to a party going on outside my room.
There is music and pot smoke and loud nonsensical conversations pouring in through the two inch gap under my door.
She talks about me, when she's drunk.
It's like I'm just sitting out there in the middle of the party, under my covers in bed.
I am living my own nightmare.